Addictions

As I walk along Collins St, I see a business man in a suit who had his mobile phone wedged between his left ear and shoulder, his leather compendium held between his legs, his right hand holding a lighter trying to light the cigarette that he is sucking on. As I look at him trying to achieve what seems like the impossible (it almost looked like a circus act), I can’t stop to think – how bad is his addiction? Why is he so desperate for that nicotine hit right now? Why doesn’t he wait til the end of his phone call? Then it got me thinking… are we all addicted to something?

Addiction – as defined by Wikipedia: the continued use of a mood altering substance or behavior despite adverse consequences.

To the more common addictions, there are coffee addicts, sports addicts, sugar addicts, shopaholics, alcoholics and there are the more extreme ones such as the adrenalin addicts, the drug addicts, and sex addicts… No matter which addiction it is, isn’t it all the same? It is constantly on our mind, we are always thinking when’s the next hit/dose, and when we are not on it, we just want to get back on it…

What about the addictions that are less obvious to the naked eye such as relationship addicts, the love addicts, the attention addicts?

Relationship addicts: These are the people who can just constantly jump from one relationship to the other. They change partners as quick as Prada’s current collection. Before they have healed from the hurt from their previous relationship, they are already onto the next one, feeling all the happiness and joy of the relationship. I suppose we can all understand this addiction. Let’s face it, who doesn’t like company? I mean who actually prefers lonely nights and have no one to talk to?

Love addicts: These people are probably the worst, they are quite similar to the above addicts but they may not be in relationship for long and sometimes they are preserved as players. They seem to fall in love deeply and easily too. They are often the ones who pull out of a relationship quickly as well. They pull the ‘I love you’ stage quicker than anyone else and fall in love with someone else even faster. I suppose I can understand where they are coming from… I mean who doesn’t love the adrenalin of love?

Attention addicts: They feed off other’s validation of themselves. They constantly require to be praised and require to be the centre of attention. They hate non-acknowledgement of their existence. They love being loud or funny or in an outfit that definitely catches the eye. The funny thing, they are often attracted to someone who doesn’t pay them enough attention… but they do require a lot more attention on a daily basis when they are in a relationship. There is definitely a fine line between too much attention and too little (I mean the most attractive quality of all is dignity). I think there’s probably a bit of this category in everyone…

Addictions are dangerous, in the film ‘Shame’, it talks about the life of a sex addict. It depicts all the chaos, relationship break downs, and the pain and misery that his addiction causes in his life. The obsession and the constant craving that does not allow one to function normally or think normally on a daily basis.

Instead of substances or material goods, can we be addicted to a person? A person where we enjoy spending time with them so much that we become obsessed? We analysis their every word, we always know what they are doing, we are constantly in a struggle with ourselves about whether we should text them, whether we should call them and the question of: how do we make them like me more?

“In love relationships, there is a fine line between pleasure and pain. In fact, it's a common belief that a relationship without pain...is a relationship not worth having. To some, pain implies growth. But how do we know when the growing pains stop...and the “pain-pains” take over? Are we masochists or optimists, if we continue to walk that fine line? When it comes to relationships... how do you know when enough is enough?”

Addictions - how many times do we sit there and think – what is wrong with us? Or how many times have we tried to quit and keep struggling to quit? Our body, our minds, our lives are so use to functioning this way, how does one stop?

According to science, we only require 14 days to form a habit… As such, I adopted a detox (or should I say a new way of living) for 14 days. It had a nice name to it: 14 days to the new you. In this detox, it introduces you a new way of living by introducing a new exercise regime, a new eating plan and most certainly a new way of living your life. The idea is to cleanse the toxins within you and cut the toxic relationships that surrounds you… How effective is it I hear you ask… Let me say Rome was definitely not built in a day. I struggled some days and get through some. Sure, I felt so much healthier but since coming off the detox, I’ve been drinking every day, my sugar intake has definitely increased (I have a valid reason, it was Easter). I have also taken some positive changes where I drink more water, I exercise that slightly more, and I choose the organic foods instead of processed. In the end of the day, I suppose I am better-off than prior to the detox. 

 That’s the thing about addictions, you can’t really stop in just one go… It takes a lot of practice, patience and perseverance to finally adjust to your new way of living. And one day without realizing it, you will feel… free.